


Happy Late Father's Day to Me

by myglassesaredirty



Series: The End of the Innocence [4]
Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Dad!Hawkeye, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, hawkeye has a kid, it's not margaret's, prolly not a one shot but who knows, single dad hawkeye is my new sexuality, the mother is not in the picture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-05-25 01:18:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14965985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myglassesaredirty/pseuds/myglassesaredirty
Summary: He left Maine thinking that the only family he would be leaving behind was his father. He's a bit incorrect in that assumption.





	1. A Return Home and a (Really) Unexpected Surprise

**Author's Note:**

> I was talking to Howlingdawn about this possibility on tumblr, and then I just realized: it's a perfect opportunity. There's a great chance Hawkeye would be a single dad, and besides, it's not like it's impossible. And guys: there is literally _no_ dad!Hawkeye material on this site. I had to go over to fanfiction.net to get some fics about dad!Hawkeye. Anyways. Here it is.

He’s home free.

 

With each mile, each glance down at the ocean below him, he’s closer and closer to American soil, closer and closer to a life he can’t have anymore. He’ll get to see his dad again – won’t just read his letters, but will actually be able to  _ see _ his father and hug him and thank him for everything. He won’t have to worry about endless waves of wounded, won’t have to take out shrapnel, won’t have to stare war in the face any longer.

 

The war is over.

 

His plane finally lands in San Francisco, and for the last time, he looks at BJ Hunnicutt, for the last time, he gets to say something to this brother of his. As they wait for the other soldiers to depart, BJ comes to stand next to Hawkeye. “Don’t stop telling Erin about me,” Hawkeye says with a smirk.

 

BJ gently knocks his shoulder into Hawkeye’s. “Don’t be a stranger, Hawk. Write. I want to know every boring detail of your life.”

 

Hawkeye stretches and shuffles forward a few steps. “It’s pretty boring, not gonna lie.” He looks at BJ and, through his eyes, says,  _ I’m scared for so much. _

 

BJ squeezes Hawkeye’s shoulder. “You’ll be fine. I promise, and so does Sidney.”

 

Hawkeye shrugs. “Doesn’t do much for what happened out there, Beej.”

 

“Maybe not. But you’ll be fine.” BJ smiles widely, and Hawkeye can’t help the smile on his face. “Trust me. I’m a doctor.”

 

Hawkeye’s next flight takes him to Dallas (perks of living on the exact opposite side of the country – yay!), which then takes him to Washington, DC, which then takes him to Philadelphia. From Philly, Hawkeye will take a train up to Augusta, Maine, and his dad will pick him up there.

 

BJ, however, is at the end of the line. He goes home after this. He’ll walk out of this airport and find a taxi and ask the driver to take him to Mill Valley, where he’ll hold his daughter tightly in his arms, where he’ll kiss his wife hello. Or maybe Peg and Erin are already here, and BJ will see them in a matter of five minutes.

 

Their paths diverge here. BJ bounces on the balls of his feet for a couple of seconds before he rushes forward and pulls Hawkeye into a bone-crushing hug. “Thank you,” he says, “for making the war bearable.”

 

Hawkeye rests his chin on BJ’s shoulder. “That goes double for me.”

 

BJ steps back and salutes Hawkeye. “Please write.”

 

Hawkeye smiles. “Of course.”

 

*

 

He’s so sick and tired of reading the same book over and over again. He loves Margaret, don’t get him wrong, but she overestimated his appreciation for  _ The Catcher in the Rye _ and it’s the only one of his books that he hasn’t reread 45 times. If he reads this book one more time, he’s pretty sure that he’ll scream.

 

He tucks the book away and surveys the airplane. Apparently, commercial flights are uncommon due to the mass of soldiers returning home, and he’s not complaining – he’s glad to be home. The country passes below him, a mix of green and brown and yellow. He sees buildings, and they all look to be the size of an ant, like he can pick it up and inspect it, and it’ll be no bigger than his fingernail.

 

He settles back into his seat, going through the names of the 4077th. Hawkeye worries about Father Mulcahy. While it’s true that Father Mulcahy is probably the toughest of all of them, Hawkeye still worries. He hopes that Mulcahy will write.

 

He wonders if Charles will get married. Wonders if the war changed him enough to realize that there is no difference between high class society and the poorest souls in the country – at the end of the day, the government will draft whomever they please. He wonders what it will be like to return to Boston and good Scotch and beautiful trees and decent plumbing after the hell that was Korea.

 

He could ask the same question of himself.

 

And Margaret. Will she ever marry again? Will she remember him? Will she write back? He doesn’t have to think long or hard – he can see her right in front of him, smiling at whatever ridiculous joke he just cracked. Her smile is brilliant and bright, and he can’t help but smile with her. Her blonde hair falls in front of her face and frames her smile, her eyes, her nose, and he looks at her and he wonders how in the world he could have been so lucky to even have met her. Just once more, he wants to hold her close, kiss her nose and forehead. He wants to believe they would have worked, even if in another life. They would have worked.

 

Well. It doesn’t do well to dwell in the past or the what-ifs.

 

Before he left, before the war ended, he had received a letter from Radar. He hasn’t opened it, not after everything that happened, not the way his mind is running too fast for him to process anything. He wants to read it, wants to take out a pencil and paper to respond, but the plane lands in Washington, and he has to leave.

 

*

 

He sleeps on the flight to Philadelphia.

 

(It’s his first restful sleep since the early days of the war. Dreams of trees with red and orange leaves, dreams of clear water and a cobblestone path.)

 

*

 

When he boards the train, he finds an empty seat to himself. The train lurches forward, and Hawkeye opens his last letter from Radar O’Reilly.

 

_ Dear Hawkeye, _

_ I kinda miss the 4077. Not that the war was ever a good thing – after all, people at home look at me kinda funny. Like I’m about to shatter right in front of them and they won’t know what to do. Trouble is – I feel like they might be right. Ever since Park Sung came to work for us (boy, am I glad he did) I’ve had time to think. It’s not always bad – I might go on to college one day, when Ma doesn’t need me here anymore. I’ve seen what you guys do, being doctors and nurses and it’s so neat. I mean, you save people’s lives all the time. I don’t think I could be a doctor. I don’t get on with people all that well and Major Burns did say I was a bit of a crybaby. But maybe…I don’t know, maybe I could be an animal doctor. I get on pretty good with animals. Just a thought. I haven’t mentioned it to anyone, not even Ma, so if you won’t tell anyone, I’d really appreciate it. _

_ I didn’t write to you because I’m thinking of being an animal doctor. I mean, I AM, but that’s not the only reason. Remember those nightmares you used to have? I have the same thing. I hear choppers all the time and grab my glasses and I’ve woken my Ma up a lot. I always feel like there are choppers around. I hear them. When I’m not hearing choppers, I’m dreaming of Colonel Blake and the chopper that killed him. I can’t sleep anymore, Hawkeye. I’m scared. Maybe I should of just written Sidney about this. I might. _

_ But I’m writing you about this because I had a real bad dream, Hawkeye. I can’t – I don’t know how to describe it, but you were there. In fact, you were the only person in the dream and you were cryin’. You were cryin’ a lot. I wanted to help you, but I didn’t know how. I don’t know what you were cryin’ about but I know it was bad. I’m gonna phone your father tomorrow morning to check on him. Just to be sure. It’s late right now, and that dream was so awful that I can’t go back to sleep. I think Ma knows that I can’t sleep most nights, so she doesn’t get onto me much. Are you okay, Hawkeye? Write me back as soon as you can. I’m worried about you. _

 

_ Love, _

_ Radar O’Reilly _

 

Hawkeye swallows his tears and folds up the letter in his hand.

 

*

 

He steps off the train, and it’s like he’s stepped into a new world. He feels like he’s not even in his own skin anymore. His uniform embraces him, covers him like a second skin. This is his home – at least, as close to it as public transportation can take him – and it feels foreign.

 

(This is the same way he felt about Korea when he first stepped onto its soil. A foreign land, a country that rejected him only to accept him. He’s left home behind twice: once, three years ago, and just a couple of days ago. He doesn’t know the word anymore.)

 

He takes a deep breath and steps forward. His cap is tucked under his arm, and he holds his luggage in his left hand. He can’t find his dad in the crowd.

 

After he wades through a flock of soldiers, he finds his dad standing near the entrance of the station. His hair is completely gray, just as Hawkeye remembers it. His smile is warm and welcoming, and a pair of thin glasses perch on the bridge of Daniel Pierce’s nose.

 

Hawkeye nudges his way past another soldier and stops.

 

His father is holding the hand of a little boy. The kid can’t be any older than two, and maybe that wouldn’t unnerve the unmovable Hawkeye Pierce, but the little boy has familiar jet-black hair and bright blue eyes.

 

Hawkeye looks from the child to his father, his chest rising and falling rapidly.  _ Is this my son? _ he wants to ask.  _ Is this my son? _

 

Daniel steps forward and embraces Hawkeye. For a moment, the young child is forgotten (or as forgotten as can be, considering he’s latched himself onto Hawkeye’s leg) and Hawkeye returns his father’s embrace. “You’re finally home, son.”

 

Hawkeye rests his head in the crook of his father’s neck. “I’m home, Dad.” He steps back, and the little boy also shuffles backwards. Daniel looks between his son and grandson. “Hawk, this is AJ.”

 

Hawkeye kneels in front of his son. Before he introduces himself, he looks up to his dad. “Just to be sure, I am…you know, the father?”

 

Daniel smiles. “Yes.”

 

Hawkeye takes a deep breath and turns to his son. “Hey, AJ. I’m your dad. I don’t think we’ve ever met.” He offers his hand to AJ.

 

AJ glances up at his grandpa. “Hi.” He’s shy, very unlike his father, but the situation is understandable. “I’m AJ.”

 

Hawkeye smiles, and the edges of his eyes crinkle. “Yeah, bud.” He waits until AJ takes his hand. “Let’s say we get home and you can tell me all about yourself.”

 

AJ shrugs. “Okay.”

 

He scoops AJ into his arms and carries him out to his dad’s car. It’s a tragedy, Hawkeye decides, that he missed so much.


	2. Hi Son, I'm Dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's his first night with the little tyke, and all he knows about AJ is his name, his father, and his grandfather.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have dived headfirst into this fandom. I can't help it – all of my ideas center around this one, so those of you who don't want M*A*S*H and would prefer Marvel…just wait. In time, the Irondad obsession will roll back around. It always does. As for now, I need to get Dad!Hawkeye out of my system.
> 
> I apologize for any mistakes with children I make. AJ is two years old at this point, so his language is not at the level of a pre-schooler. I found that tumblr post that talks about how to write children dialogue, and again, since I have no other reference, that is what I have been going off of. So without any further adieu…

Hawkeye Pierce has not sat in the backseat of his father’s car since…

 

Well, maybe it’s best not to mention that just now.

 

The point is, Hawkeye feels a bit out of his comfort zone. It’s like he’s not even the same person.

 

(Three months ago, he would have killed to find out he had a son. Now, his hands shake, and he wants to beg his own father never to leave him alone with AJ.)

 

It’s a fairly long walk, he discovers quickly. AJ is a lot heavier than he expected, and carrying him for what looks to be a mile is going to be quite a feat for him.

 

When the trio finally reaches Daniel’s Studebaker, Daniel looks over to Hawkeye and smiles. “AJ usually sits up front with me.”

 

Hawkeye forces a smile and opens the passenger door with one hand. Daniel puts Hawkeye’s bags in the trunk. AJ crawls over Hawkeye’s lap and settles himself down in between Daniel and Hawkeye.

 

As for the one-hour drive to Crabapple Cove, Hawkeye has no idea.

 

Luckily, Daniel seems to have a few. He starts up the car and says, “Hey, AJ, why don’t you tell your daddy about what you like to do?”

 

AJ rubs his nose with his left hand – a trait he inherited from Daniel – and jiggles his leg up and down. His voice is so quiet that Hawkeye has to strain his ears to hear him. “I wike to pway wif the ducks.”

 

For the first time since the bus incident, a child actually makes him smile. “You like to play with ducks?”

 

AJ nods. “Yeah, Papa take me down to the pond.”

 

And if there was ever a moment that Hawkeye didn’t love AJ with all of his heart, it’s long gone. “Yeah? Do you go swimming, too?”

 

AJ turns his big blue eyes to Hawkeye. “Papa says I’m not stwong enough yet.” He pouts for a second, and then his face brightens up for the first time since Hawk met him. “But he lets me pway in the puddles when it wains!”

 

Hawkeye gently brushes AJ’s hair with his fingers. “Well, tell you what – tomorrow, you and I can go apple picking in the orchard.”

 

AJ studies him. “Pwomise?”

 

Hawkeye crosses an  _ x _ over his heart. “Cross my heart.”

 

AJ smiles and nods. “Okay!”

 

*

 

Daniel makes it his sole mission to prepare Hawkeye’s welcome-home meal  _ and _ AJ’s normal dinner while Hawkeye digs through the books strewn about the living room.

 

“Oh, Hawk?” Daniel pokes his head into the room. “There’s a book in there that was published while you were overseas. Linda Brestinwood gave it to me after I removed her tonsils.”

 

“That’s great, but is it kid-appropriate?” Hawkeye says, holding  _ Velveteen Rabbit _ in one hand and  _ Winnie the Pooh _ in the other. AJ sits across from him, playing with Hawkeye’s old building blocks.

 

Daniel smiles and steps into the room, bending over the pile of books. “It’s a fairy tale.” He pulls a book out of the mess. “Aha! Here it is,” he says, passing it over to Hawkeye.

 

Hawkeye takes it and studies the cover.  _ “The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.” _ He looks up and jiggles the book a little. “Have you read it, Dad?”

 

Daniel nods once. “Right after Mrs. Brestinwood gave it to me. AJ wasn’t even born yet.”

 

“Was it any good?”

 

Daniel smiles again, salutes Hawkeye, and heads back to the kitchen. “I enjoyed it.”

 

Hawkeye stares at the books that he selected and then the one his dad picked out. He sighs. “Hey, AJ, do you want me to read you the first chapter of Narnia?”

 

AJ smiles widely and waddles over to Hawkeye, plopping down in Hawkeye’s lap. Hawkeye readjusts so he can hold the book in both hands and watch AJ’s face as he reads.  _ Boy, where is BJ Hunnicutt when you need him? _ Hawkeye thinks.  _ The man’s a born storyteller. _

 

Hawkeye opens the book to the first page. “‘Once there were four children whose names were Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy…’”

 

*

 

AJ goes to bed at 7:15 every evening. Daniel beckons Hawkeye up to the spare bedroom, and Hawkeye follows his dad, carrying a sleepy AJ in his arms.

 

AJ, however, doesn’t want to go to bed. He squirms in Hawkeye’s arms, and Hawkeye has to juggle the somehow-still-awake little kid. Once they make it to AJ’s room, AJ manages to completely wriggle out of Hawkeye’s grip and tries to bolt for the door. Daniel steps into AJ’s path, and AJ tries to run around him, but Daniel bends over and scoops AJ up. Hawkeye closes the door and takes AJ from his dad while Daniel goes to look for AJ’s pajamas.

 

If Hawkeye thought it was a battle to get AJ even in his  _ room, _ he is not prepared for how much AJ does  _ not _ want to get in his pajamas. It takes bribes, tricks, lullabies, and threats of no candy to get AJ in his clothes.

 

Hawkeye’s exhausted, and if AJ’s tantrums are anything to go by, it will be a fight to get him to fall asleep. He tells his dad he’ll be right back, and then he runs back downstairs, grabs the new book he’d been reading to AJ, and runs back upstairs. Daniel managed to get AJ into his bed (not without AJ’s protest, of course).

 

Hawkeye pushes a hand through his hair and sits on the mattress next to a pouting AJ. “Hey, AJ, you want me to read you some more of Narnia?”

 

AJ uncrosses his arms and glares up at Hawkeye.

 

Hawkeye takes this as a “yes,” and opens the book. “‘Chapter Two,’” he reads, and he notices AJ shift a little bit closer to him. “‘What Lucy Found There.’”

 

AJ falls asleep on Hawkeye’s arm about halfway through the chapter. Hawkeye gently bookmarks the page, slips out of bed, and turns on AJ’s (his) nightlight. Daniel nods to AJ and Hawkeye smiles softly and presses a kiss to AJ’s forehead. “Goodnight, son,” he whispers, before following Daniel back downstairs to the kitchen.

 

He reaches for a bottle of Scotch, but Daniel takes it out of his hand and shakes his head. “No way, Hawk.”

 

“What? What do you mean ‘no way?’” His eyes follow his dad’s movements. “I just got back home after a  _ war, _ and you say I can’t drink something?”

 

Daniel looks over his shoulder and wags his finger. “I never said you couldn’t have anything to drink. It just can’t be alcohol.”

 

“Why the hell not?”

 

Daniel sighs and sets down the bottle. “Look, Hawk, now you have a kid of your own. You have to be responsible.”

 

Hawkeye shakes his head. “No, Dad, you don’t get it. You don’t know what happened back there.”

 

Daniel raises his eyebrows. “Oh, yeah? What don’t I understand? Please, tell me more about the life I  _ didn’t _ live when I fought in the Great War.”

 

Hawkeye pushes a hand through his hair. “Dad, you just– it got bad out there in the last few weeks. You don’t get it. I’m– I’m  _ scared, _ Dad.”

 

Daniel leans against the countertop and crosses his arms. “Is this about the child on the bus incident?”

 

“How’d you know about that?”

 

He shrugs and rubs his nose with his left hand. “Hm, I don’t know, maybe it’s the fact that literally  _ every one _ of your friends was so concerned about you after the incident that they  _ all _ wrote me about it?” He steps forward, and Hawkeye is suddenly reminded of the time his dad caught him smoking in his bedroom. “Do you  _ really _ think I’d let you be alone with that kid if I thought you were unstable? I know you’re scared. I can see your hands shaking. But alcohol  _ won’t help him. _ It won’t help you be a better dad. Hell, it’s the worst thing you can do for him.”

 

Hawkeye shakes his head. “No, you don’t– I’ve wanted kids since you and Mom introduced me to Anna. That– those were the only days I actually enjoyed Korea, because I would just see…all these little kids with big smiles on their faces. And then…” he swallows past the rock in his throat. “And then…”

 

“And then you said the right thing at the right time, and the mother took the wrong course of action. That wasn’t your fault, Hawk. Don’t put all that blame on yourself.”

 

Hawkeye laughs bitterly. “How the hell am I supposed to raise a kid after I witnessed that?”

 

Daniel smiles gently. “Isn’t BJ?”

 

“That’s different, it wasn’t his fault.”

 

“Nor was it yours.” Before Hawkeye can say anything more, Daniel holds up both hands. “Look, your psychiatrist friend – Sidney, right? –, he wrote me about the entire situation, too. He also told me that he lives in New York City. It’s a day trip, you can visit him as necessary.”

 

Hawkeye sighs. “You do understand that I’m going to be making a lot more visits now that I have a child I never knew about. What’s up with that, by the way?”

 

“Ah.” Daniel nods and slowly walks to the refrigerator. He pulls out a carton of orange juice, pours two glasses, and passes one to Hawkeye. “I knew that was about to come up.”

 

“Who was the mom? AJ doesn’t look like any of the girls I dated before Korea. And when’s his birthday?”

 

Daniel slings an arm around Hawkeye’s shoulders and nods toward the living room. “Come on, I’ll explain everything.” Hawkeye sits on one side of the couch, and Daniel sits on the other. Daniel takes a sip of orange juice. “Do you happen to remember a woman by the name of Laura Kepplerr?”

 

Hawkeye furrows his eyebrows and thinks for a moment. “Blonde hair, blue eyes, about 5 feet tall?”

 

Daniel nods and takes another drink of orange juice. “That’s her. What do you remember about her?”

 

Hawkeye purses his lips and shrugs. “I mean, I dated her after Carlye left, during my fellowship. I wasn’t too serious about the relationship, and that made her upset. Um…” he scratches his chin and makes a mental note that he needs to shave. “I got my draft notice one day and I left her the next. Came back here instead.”

 

Daniel scratches his left temple with his index finger. “Yeah, well, sometime during that relationship, you got her pregnant. In fact,” Daniel shrugs, “I’d put it at approximately April or May. I would bet more on May, though.”

 

Hawkeye furrows his brow and shakes his head. “What– I don’t under…stand.”

 

Daniel smiles. “AJ was born on January 8. Laura came and found me when she was about seven months along and explained that you were the father. She asked if I would take the baby in, while you were overseas. I agreed.”

 

Hawkeye sits up a little straighter. He’d always assumed AJ’s mother had died, but this… “You mean she didn’t want AJ in the first place?”

 

Daniel presses his lips together and sets his glass of orange juice on the coffee table. “That’s right. Her reasoning was that she didn’t want to have anything that reminded her of you.”

 

“That’s a  _ great _ reason for abandoning a child,” Hawkeye cuts in sarcastically.

 

Daniel holds both hands up in a surrender. “I thought the same thing, but to be fair, Hawkeye, you did abandon her.”

 

Hawkeye’s eyes flash. “After I got my fucking  _ draft _ notice!”

 

“You wrote her a ‘Dear Jane’ letter as soon as you got to training. That’s not the best way to dump someone.”

 

“Okay, okay, you’re right, I’m an idiot. That still doesn’t excuse what she did, abandoning her own  _ kid.” _

 

Daniel hums in agreement. “You might be right about that, but I honestly don’t think she was suited to be a mother. She was just so young –”

 

“She was  _ twenty-seven _ when we dated!”

 

Daniel holds up a hand. “I don’t think she ever wanted to be a mother, Hawkeye. Children were never on the agenda for her. She told me that herself. At least she decided to give AJ to someone she knew would care for him, instead of really and truly abandoning him.”

 

Hawkeye drains his orange juice. “So, what? You delivered my son, and she booked it back to Boston as soon as she could wade through the snowdrifts?”

 

Daniel nods. “Yep. That’s exactly what happened.”

 

Hawkeye tries very hard not to slam his glass down on the coffee table, lest he accidentally wake AJ after all the work they went through to get him to sleep. “Great. What does AJ even stand for, anyway? I can’t remember an  _ A _ or a  _ J _ in her family.”

 

Daniel winces. “I named him, Hawkeye.”

 

“What the  _ hell?” _

 

“Your son’s legal name is Andrew James Pierce. He was born 7 pounds, 8 ounces with hair as black as night and the same blue eyes you have now. He’s you from head to toe. There was no mistaking that. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he’s 100% you.”

 

Hawkeye smiles and runs his right thumb over the back of his left hand. “Except for the nose.”

 

“Except for the nose, you’re right. I’m sorry, but that’s all Laura’s.”

 

Hawkeye smiles and leans back against the arm of the couch. “So, Andrew James, born January 8, 1951. Let me guess: a blizzard? You couldn’t get to the hospital.”

 

Daniel touches the tip of his nose. “You’ve got it.” He sighs and leans forward, maintaining eye contact with Hawkeye. “Listen, Hawk…I know you’re scared, but you’ve got me. I have no plans to go anywhere, and if you  _ do _ want more help, you’ve got BJ, you’ve got Potter, you’ve got Margaret…”

 

Hawkeye smiles fondly at the sound of Margaret’s name.

 

“And speaking of Margaret…”

 

Hawkeye looks up and schools his expression into a poker face. “What about her?”

 

Daniel smiles and leans back, mirroring his son’s body language. “How ‘bout you tell me all about this head nurse you’ve been in love with for three years?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like it, love it, hate it? Leave a comment below or go to my tumblr @ my-glasses-are-dirty

**Author's Note:**

> …
> 
> I can't believe I actually have a WIP in a non-Marvel fandom. Wow.


End file.
